Divinity Page 2

  While waiting for Charlie to respond, Julia processed her own words. Shock, that was it. Wouldn’t anyone be in shock after such a harrowing experience?

  Charlie: Are YOU okay?

  Julia: Not a scratch. I guess that’s what’s bothering me. I should have been killed.

  Charlie: Sometimes miracles happen. My mother was hit by a car once (while she was preggers with me!) and there wasn’t a scratch on her. Hit and run. They found the guy a mile away in his car, dead from heart failure. Huge dent in the hood where Mom had hit.

  Julia: Are you serious? How awful! SO glad you and your mom were okay—don’t know what I’d do without you.

  Charlie: You’ll never have to know, dearest.

  Julia: Awww! *hugs* Love you, my friend. I should go to bed. Have to be at the restaurant early tomorrow. Oh! How’s the morning sickness?

  Charlie: Done, I hope. Last time I barfed some got on HIS shoes. You’d think I cooked his pet goat or something!

  Julia: Hahaha! Have to think that was a bit of Karma. Charlie: Or maybe just really good aim;)

  Julia said goodbye and closed up the laptop. Charlie was right. Unexplainable stuff did happen to people all the time. Her friend always made everything seem okay, and Julia felt quite peaceful as she made her way back into bed, snuggled under the warmth of her comforter. That is, until the dreams started.

  Julia pulled into the empty parking lot of her restaurant and rubbed her eyes. She’d only gotten three hours of sleep the night before, and most of that time was spent reliving the car accident in her dreams. When she stepped out of her car an offensive smell greeted her.

  “Way to forget to have the garbage picked up,” she grumbled. She would have to make sure to talk to Sandra about that. Sandra was the manager of Julia’s restaurant.

  It was an old log building, once an old-fashioned service station. The island where the gas pumps had once been now housed a large concrete planter, and the drive between the planter and the building made for a great setup to include valet parking on the weekends. Julia had gutted the building and added a huge extension to the back for the kitchen. It had been vacant for almost fifty years before she bought it, so there wasn’t even a lingering odor of gasoline. She thought that might have been better than the odor which surrounded the place now.

  The door was unlocked, and Julia could hear Sandra’s harmonies battling for air time with the vacuum cleaner as she prepped the dining room for opening.

  “Sandra?” Julia shouted over the noise, hoping to avoid startling the portly woman. When Sandra didn’t respond, Julia made her way into the dining room where the noise came from. Julia came around the corner and gasped. Instead of Sandra’s form, she saw only light, as though a star were floating there in front of her, sharp points of light jutting out from a glowing core.

  Julia blinked hard a few times. This was something that had plagued her since childhood, something she had kept to herself until she was old enough to go to the doctor on her own. When she did that and had all sorts of tests done, it turned out there was nothing wrong with her. Julia had come to realize (after a long conversation with a new-age healer) that while some people could see auras surrounding people, she could occasionally see their inner aura, or their spirit energy. It happened more when she was exhausted than any other time, but when it did happen, it was like Julia got a window into the person’s soul.

  A few more hard blinks returned her vision to normal, which was a relief since she never really knew how long it would last. She pulled out a chair and sat down, waiting for Sandra to realize she was there.

  A few moments later Sandra swung the vacuum around, saw Julia sitting there, and gave a start.

  “I didn’t hear you come in,” she said, leaning over to turn off the loud machine.

  “I didn’t see your car out there.”

  “My Bobby drove me in this morning,” Sandra said, her face lighting up the way it always did when she talked about her new boyfriend. “Flat tire. Couldn’t find the bloody hole, though. Some little prankster must’ve let the air out.”

  “Sorry to hear that. I could have opened up alone, though.”

  “It’s my job, Julia,” Sandra scoffed as she went about wrapping the cord up and putting the vacuum away while she talked. “Besides, I wanted to talk to you about something.” Sandra’s Cockney accent always kicked into high gear whenever she wanted something. Julia thought it was because she felt uncomfortable asking.

  “Oh?”

  “I was thinking if we had one more part-timer, we’d be able to take one of the girls off the floor some nights and train her.”

  “Train her as…?”

  “I’d love to have someone to cover for me so I could take a holiday back home. Mum’s getting on, you know.”

  “Sandra, you say the word and I’ll step in and cover for you. You deserve time off, too!”

  “You have other things to do, like court that fine young man of yours. Besides, where I come from, we don’t get the boss to cover for us,” Sandra said, putting her hands on her ample hips.

  “Well, where I come from, you aren’t a good boss unless you’re willing to step in and do the work yourself.” Julia mirrored Sandra’s hands to hip movement playfully.

  “Is that right? That’s where you come from, is it?” Sandra was quick to remind Julia that she was one of the few people who knew Julia was adopted as a child.

  “Hey, I’m making it up as I go,” Julia said, flipping on the light switch to the office as she opened the door.

  “That you are, my dear. And a damn fine job you’re doing.” Sandra wandered back out to the dining room to push all the chairs back in and resumed her light-hearted singing.

  Julia stepped into her office and had to smile when she saw the stack of resumes that Sandra had left on her desk. She doubted she could find anyone to fill Sandra’s shoes, even temporarily, but perhaps they would stumble upon someone able to cover the other shifts. Julia would be more than happy to handle the scheduling and paperwork, and the kitchen staff should be able to deal with the food orders.

  “I may have fathered her, Brother, but you are the one who created her,” Gabriel said, his brow knitted. “You are the one who will need her. You should be the one to speak with her.”

  “I have studied her,” Michael began, his refusal clear in his tone. “It is you that she needs to see. She will have many questions for you. Be prepared for them. Listen to her. Be patient with her, but don’t overwhelm her with information.”

  Gabriel turned away from Michael and lowered his head. “She will have a crisis of faith. Again. What do I do when she asks me where God is? Shall I send her to you?”

  Michael shook his head, a light in his eyes that could have been amusement or anger or both. “You must let each person see me as they will, whether that is as a white bearded man, an angry Greek, a happy fat man, or a lion. Few can understand that I am all of these things.”

  Gabriel turned back to face Michael, the tips of his wings leaving a trail through the clouds. Tight to his shoulders, his wings looked clenched like fists, but if he was angry, that was the only sign. “This Child has been the most challenging task you have given me,” he said finally. “I see now that the challenge has only begun.”

  III

  JULIA often had trouble sleeping and tonight was no exception. She’d tried all the usual things—hot bath, counting sheep, reading—but just couldn’t quiet her mind enough to get there.

  “Please, just let me sleep,” she groaned to the ceiling as though it could grant her wish.

  The ceiling shifted, as though the plaster was alive and trying to break out of a cocoon. Julia pressed her eyes shut, then reopened them, trying to refocus. She saw it was not the plaster moving, but a fine, bluish mist that hung above her. She sat up, drawing the sheets to her chin, disoriented. It appeared as a morning mist would in the woods, but this…this was not on the ground. It was creeping along the ceiling above her, defying all laws of gravity. Ev
entually, it covered the entire ceiling.

  All she could do was watch, slack-jawed, clutching her bedding, trapped in awe of this ethereal mist. It pulsed with energy as it started to pool in the center of the ceiling, then dripped down in long, flowing tendrils. Only one or two at first, but in no time there were many strands reaching toward the floor.

  This must be what it’s like to stand in the middle of the Aurora Borealis, she thought. She had seen many beautiful things, but never anything like this.

  Julia stared in reverence as the blue tendrils drifted toward one another, dancing lightly and weaving together. She blinked, waiting for her hallucination to disappear. It did not.

  Slowly, purposefully, the tendrils continued to gather until they shaped into a man, unlike any man Julia had ever seen. His being took form before her, the immensity of it overwhelming her. She sensed many things from him—righteousness most of all. When the massive lumps protruding from his back took the shape of wings, her eyes widened and she sucked in a quick breath. Without knowing how she knew, she said only one word.

  “Gabriel.”

  Gabriel nodded once, his bright blue eyes piercing hers.

  “You are the Archangel Gabriel?”

  “I am.” Gabriel’s powerful baritone voice made Julia’s ears ring, yet there was something calming about his tone. His was the kind of voice that rang with truth.

  Her heart beat against her chest so hard she thought she could feel her ribs vibrating. “Am I dead?”

  “No.”

  Relief washed over Julia momentarily, but changed to fear. If she wasn’t dead, was she crazy? She stared at him, her mind reeling. After a moment, she broke the silence. “Why are you here?”

  “I am here because we decided it was time you knew.”

  “We?” Julia looked up to the ceiling, checking to see if there might be another angel ready to drop. “Time I knew what?”

  “The truth of your being.” Gabriel’s wings lifted from his back and re-settled. “What have you been told in regards to your birth?”

  Julia blinked. That was the last thing she would have expected. Not that she had been expecting anything, but the Archangel Gabriel was talking to her. And asking her questions. She must be crazy. Maybe it was a dream. Either way, there was a massive Archangel standing in front of her, waiting for an answer. Crazy or not, it would probably be a good idea to answer him. She took a deep breath.

  “My mother was insane. I was adopted. I don’t know much more than that about her, really. I think her name was Maria.” Geez. Maybe it was genetic.

  “And what do you know of your father?”

  She knew nothing about her birth father, and though Gabriel’s voice did not alter in any way, something made Julia look straight into his eyes.

  Then it struck her. Looking into Gabriel’s eyes was like looking into her own. The same bright blue with brown flecks, framed by dark lashes. Though where her hair was a rich, dark chestnut color, his was blond and glistened so brightly it could easily be mistaken for a halo of light. Julia’s mouth worked as she attempted to find words for her thoughts. When she found them, they came out in a breathy accusation. “You? You are my father?”

  “I am.”

  Julia shook her head and pulled the covers up further, wrapping them tightly around her shoulders as though that would stave off insanity. I have totally lost my mind.

  An even smaller voice sounded in her head, one that shook her to her core. You know it’s true.

  “You have not lost your mind,” Gabriel said, slowly crossing his arms.

  “Then you…what? Had sex with a lunatic?” Julia blurted out, ignoring that Gabriel had somehow read her thoughts. “Why would you choose an insane person?”

  “Child.” Gabriel’s voice was so potent, so powerful and stern. Julia found she was holding her breath, waiting for his answer.

  “The people on this planet are too firmly planted in their ‘reality’ for us to even try to accomplish such a thing with them,” he began. “One referred to as ‘insane’ here, however, usually bears that label because they are open to alternate realities. Your mother was very open. Because of the abuse she suffered as a child, she stopped existing within this ‘reality’ long ago. It was easy to speak with her and for her to openly understand without the mental barriers that others would have. She knew who I was. She knew she would conceive my child.”

  The truth of his words struck Julia like lightning to her spine, both electrifying and immobilizing her. With the knowledge came anger, though. Years of loneliness and suffering that he should have had the power to save her from. Wasn’t that what angels were for?

  “Why didn’t you tell me before? Why wait this long? My whole life has been so… horrific! Why wouldn’t you do something about that? Help me somehow…” Her voice tapered off as the tears took hold, and the reason she had never felt like she belonged hit home.

  “Child,” he repeated, his tone all forced patience, “you needed strength to be able to do what you have been placed here to do. There is no better way to gain strength than to live through adversity such as you did. You were always protected; you have never walked this earth alone.”

  “Adversity?” Julia shouted incredulously. “You mean horror! And how can you even say that I’ve been protected? The abuse, the…everything! I…” Her words choked off into sobbing. There were so many things she had always wanted to say to her father, so many questions, but at that moment she froze, seething and confused. The words all seemed to get lodged in her throat.

  “Protected from death, Child.”

  His calm infuriated her further. Couldn’t he just say he was sorry? She didn’t need rationalizing, she needed a hug. That thought jarred her back into the moment and she shook her head. Really? A hug from this thing? She really had lost it.

  “The other trials were so that you would know strength and compassion, that you would become strength and that you would exude it. You will be grateful for it, for what you must face, and all those whose lives you have touched are better for having felt your compassion. Would you take that from them?”

  He reminded her of a father who had to tell his child the family pet had died. There was sadness in his eyes, deep and dark. But she didn’t care. Was she delusional, or pissed off? Maybe it was both, but if this was her real father, he was going to hear a piece of her mind.

  “How could you just stand by and let your so-called daughter be violated!” Julia spat. “How could you stand by while I suffered? Did you know my ‘family’ threw me out when they found out it was their son who was abusing me? Like I was the one that ruined him? How could you allow such immense emotional damage to happen to me that death was the only solution I saw?”

  She wanted to pound her fists on his chest as she yelled. She wanted to pound her hurt into him. Gabriel’s eyes never left hers, but they were now cold. Not the loving eyes of the father she had always imagined. He didn’t move, rush forward and embrace her, stroke her hair and tell her everything would be all right now. None of the things she’d envisioned all her life.

  “Why won’t you say something? Anything? Just tell me why. You talk about compassion but you don’t even know what it is.” Julia’s voice crackled and the tears she had so bravely kept at bay burst forth. Her shoulders sagged and she sobbed into her hands—heavy, honest sobs that carried the tune of a broken heart. On some level she knew he was right about compassion. It was easy for her to put herself in other people’s shoes, mostly because she had already worn them, or at least some version of them. But none of that took her pain away.

  Gabriel stood silently, towering over her in all of his grace, calmly waiting out the storm. Her sobs trailed off, and slowly she lifted her head. She threw back the covers, leapt out of bed, and stood to face him, her shoulders squared, arms stiff at her sides. She wondered if he had any emotions at all.

  “Gabriel,” she scoffed. “My father. I suppose after how God’s own son lived and died, I really shouldn’t be
surprised.”

  Still Gabriel said nothing. Her anger swerved off course and into anxiety. She did not understand the feelings boiling through her. Somewhere deep inside she was excited to finally meet her father, but right next to that was fear, and both were smothered by anger. In her mind, he had abandoned her.

  Was she crazy? The idea that this was all a dream passed through her tumultuous thoughts again. Julia clenched her fists to keep her hands from trembling. She needed answers.

  “What did you mean ‘for what you must face’?” Julia asked.

  Gabriel’s head was tilted, as though he were listening to something. A light came on in her eyes as she made a sudden realization.

  “You are reading my thoughts.” His slight nod confirmed this. Pulled between feeling violated and intrigued, she pressed him. “Does this mean I can read minds, too?”

  Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Words are unnecessary for us to communicate, but it is what you are comfortable with, so that is what we will use.”

  Julia frowned. “Why are you so cryptic? Why did you come here? Why now?”

  “I will have to go soon,” Gabriel said curtly. He shifted his wings every few seconds, making him appear awkward and uncomfortable. “I will save you a little time and answer some of your questions. The dog was no coincidence. You are not immortal, you have been protected—there is a big difference. Yes, the things that you see and feel are because I am your father. No, you aren’t the only one.” He moved back from her, studying her as though she mystified him more than he puzzled her.

  The dog! It was profoundly disturbing to her that he read even the most fleeting thought about her childhood pet, also named Gabriel after the “myth” of the Archangel. She shivered, only able to stare at the angel standing before her, caught between anger and fear. His answers had only served to give her more questions. Before she could ask, he spoke.