Divinity Page 7

  “Patience.” Michael swept his arm, leaving those little trails of light streaking across her vision, and suddenly there was a reflective surface directly in front of her. It was translucent and appeared to be made of mist, but she could clearly see her reflection in it. She took a step forward and, for the first time, Julia set eyes upon her spirit-self. She had expected to see a plume of light similar to those she could see inside other humans. What she had come to think of as their spirits, or their essence.

  Instead, she looked like a starburst of pure, white light, with the shape of giant white wings extending from each side. The same bluish hue that emanated from the mists of Gabriel and Michael’s arrivals now radiated from her. She gasped.

  “I’m an angel?”

  “This is your true form, girl. Before you fell to Earth, and landed in a half-human shell, this was your appearance. Inside, it is still what you are. This is your being.”

  “I’ve seen others like this. On Earth, I mean. I sometimes see what’s inside a person.” Julia looked to Michael for verification of that truth, which he gave with a slight nod of his head. “So I am an angel in spirit. In a half-human, half-angel body. Why?”

  “The mating of an angel and a human creates a child that is capable of hosting an angel’s spirit in a way that will allow that spirit to avoid the limitations of humans. A heavenly spirit—an angel—can come to Earth, and be born into a human body. But then it has all the limitations that a human being has. Five senses only, limited communication and perception, and the physical sensations that a human experiences are so intense that often angels will become sidetracked with the pursuit of physical pleasures.”

  “You mean, like…sex?” Julia asked, her eyes wide.

  “Yes.” Michael laughed. “Show me a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting, and I will show you a room full of distracted angels.”

  Julia joined Michael in his laughter, though she felt somewhat awkward doing it. She had always thought of angels as much higher beings.

  “It isn’t a low thing,” he said, reading her thoughts. “It’s just something we don’t have without a physical form, so it is one of the main reasons angels agree to leave Heaven to go to Earth. Right now, if you were to take any angel’s hand and caress it, they wouldn’t feel it the same way you do. The point is that we needed you to have your angelic senses, as well as your humanly ones. You needed to blend in with the humans, and still have vision, insight, and ability. So Gabriel and Zachariah fathered several children.”

  “Several? How many?”

  “Twelve. There were twelve of you. And yes, you all volunteered. Before you came here, you saw why we needed you, and glimpses of what your life here would be like. You gave your consent. That is to say—your spirit did.”

  “I agreed.” Julia shook her head, trying to believe that she had agreed to live through this life she had tried to escape only a year ago. “If I signed on for this, then why would I have…?”

  “We are not able to allow you to keep your memories from the higher plane,” Michael interrupted. “If we did that, you would have been recognizable and in grave danger. Also, the human psyche has its own limitations. We need you to remember in your own time, in your own way. If we came right out and told you the truth without you seeing it for yourself, your doubt would take over—or your pride. And that might break you. Your attempt on your life did serve a purpose. It made you realize that you are here for a reason. It made you start to become open to the reasons why that might be the case.”

  Julia could only nod. She’d survived enough carbon monoxide poisoning to kill six people. There had to be a reason for it. Michael’s wording struck a nerve, though. He said she started to “become open” to it. Gabriel had said that crazy people were “open” to alternate realities. Did that mean she went crazy? And how would she know if she did?

  “Michael,” Julia said with a tremor in her voice as she gazed at her breathtaking reflection, “am I crazy?”

  “You are not crazy.”

  “But, Gabriel said…”

  “What he said was true—for your mother, and for others like her. You are not crazy. You are half-human and half-Archangel. That alone is reason enough for you to be able to see and believe.”

  Julia lifted her wings, curling them outward at the tips. A sense of peace spread over her. “I’m not crazy.”

  “No, you aren’t.”

  “If I need to remember things in my own time, then why are you helping me?”

  “Because it is your time.”

  Julia rubbed against the goose bumps on her arms. She studied herself in the mirror, reflecting on what Michael had told her. Something didn’t feel right. She wondered if he was hiding something from her. She glanced over her shoulder at him.

  No. She didn’t think he would lie to her. But would he keep information from her? She thought he might.

  “Of course there are things I haven’t mentioned.” Michael grimaced. “If I told you everything about everything from the beginning of time, we would never stop talking. You have ingested an incredible amount of information, girl. You need time to digest it.”

  Julia nodded. Begrudgingly she accepted the truth of his statement, but still felt there was something he was deliberately holding back.

  “Why do you think now is my time?” she asked.

  “When you pulled the child from the wreckage, you used energy to shield yourself and the infant. You were able to summon powers without knowing what they were or how to wield them. We decided it was time you had some guidance and a higher level of protection.”

  “If I am an angel, why would I need protection? I mean, seriously. Don’t you have something better to do? I can’t imagine babysitting me is your highest purpose.”

  Michael chuckled. “I have many better things to do, girl. I am not your babysitter, I am your protector. Were I your babysitter, you would have had considerably more corner-time.”

  He laughed warmly at her open indignation, then continued, “A very long time ago, I had a gift bestowed upon me. I was the only one to receive this gift, and therefore the only one able to be the protector. That gift was the power to see the entire span of the created universes at once. Not just one place, which most beings are limited to, but all places at once. Only one other being has this ability.”

  “I see,” Julia responded as if Michael had just told her it might rain today. “And that would be the Creator, I suppose. Which is why your name means ‘like God?’”

  “‘Who is as God,’ actually. It is a minute difference, but an important difference nonetheless,” Michael said.

  “I see,” she repeated. She noted that he hadn’t really answered any of her questions at all. “Why do I feel as though you’re leaving something very important out?”

  His gaze intensified. Locking her eyes to his, Julia felt him searching inside her. After a moment, he looked away. “Not yet, girl. You are not ready yet.”

  Michael smiled that same, breathtakingly beautiful smile, graced with what Julia thought might have been fondness for her.

  “What do I need to do to be ready, Michael?” Julia stretched her hand toward Michael, lightly resting her hand upon his forearm. She was instantly filled with the most incredible sense of light and energy; it seemed to flow through her fingertips.

  Her vision flooded with small streaks of light, as though there were a black sheet draped over her eyes, and it had small rips in it, a brilliant orange light coming in through them. Her breath sucked in through her teeth. She was unprepared for such an amazing display. Her hand fell away and she stood motionless, her jaw hanging open.

  Michael was poised, ready to catch Julia should she fall, but her locked knees kept her upright. He waited a moment for the shock to subside, and then said, “You need to remember as your human self all the things your spirit knows. Now you will live aware of both worlds.”

  “How much do you plan to tell her?” Gabriel looked through Michael’s misty form.

  Mich
ael appeared somewhat transparent, being in two places at once, and right now he was focused on the conversation he was having with Julia.

  “As much as she can handle,” Michael said, raising an eyebrow. “There is much she needs to know. She seems to be processing very well.”

  “There are some things it would be better for her not to learn.”

  “Don’t worry, Gabriel, I will not tell her anything that would make her turn from us.”

  “You should let her go.”

  Michael narrowed his eyes. “Let her go?”

  “It happens tomorrow,” Gabriel said gravely. “We should allow her to spend as much time as she can with him.”

  “That is not something that should concern us, Brother.”

  “She has such anger,” Gabriel said, lowering his head and flattening his wings on his back. “If she thinks we robbed her of a minute of her time with him, she will never forgive me. Us.”

  “It is not like you to trouble yourself with this.” Michael rested a large hand on Gabriel’s shoulder. “She does not hate you, Brother. She is confused and angry. In time she will see.”

  “I am simply worried that, if she becomes more angry, she could turn her back on us altogether,” Gabriel said. The tips of his wings twitched, betraying his nervousness.

  “Have faith, Brother.” Michael lifted his eyes to meet Gabriel’s gaze. “While we never know what a human will choose before the choice is upon them, her awareness may alter her humanity.”

  “She is only half-human,” Gabriel said. “She may still follow the divine path.”

  “Faith,” Michael repeated.

  X

  JULIA woke to the ringing of her cell phone, her heart racing and her breath coming in short, sharp gasps. She snatched the phone off the nightstand with trembling fingers.

  “Hello?” she croaked.

  She looked around her, surprised to be in her room at home, wrapped in blankets on her bed. The last thing she remembered was when she tried to touch Michael.

  Michael. Oh God, she thought, is all of this really happening?

  “Julia, are you all right?” Alex sounded worried.

  Her mind scrambled in an effort to gather itself out of the waking confusion. “Alex? Yes, I’m fine. Why? Are you okay?”

  “Oh yes, I’m fine,” he said, the concern slowly seeping from his voice. “I guess I thought you were going to call me last night after you got home; then, when you answered, you sounded so out of sorts. I woke you up, didn’t I?”

  Julia could hear him smiling through his tone. Throwing the covers off, she stood up and stretched. “Yes, but it’s good. I have a lot to do today.” She pulled on her robe and stumbled out to the kitchen to make her morning pot of coffee. After turning on the light, she peered down the hall at the front door, saw it was all locked up, and breathed a small sigh of relief.

  Need coffee, her zombie-voice chanted in her mind as she started to scoop the grounds into the coffee maker. She inhaled the calming aroma.

  “Are you still meeting me for lunch? I’d really like to make sure you’re okay. I hope Mother didn’t scare you off entirely.” Alex sounded as though he was joking, but Julia could tell he was half-serious. She flicked the machine on and closed her eyes to listen to the sound of the first drips of coffee.

  “I’m fine, Alex. Better than fine, even. I had a very deep sleep and feel so much better. Of course I’ll still meet you for lunch.” She glanced at the clock, and her stomach lurched when she saw it was almost eleven. “I’d better get ready now, though, if I’m going to be on time. See you at one?”

  “Sounds good. Julia, I…” Alex paused. “I’ll see you soon.”

  “You what?” Julia asked. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

  “I’m just looking forward to seeing you, that’s all,” Alex said with a light laugh. “Nothing unusual there.”

  “All right. I’ll go get ready, and I’ll see you in a bit. Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  Julia turned and disconnected the call. She leaned back against the kitchen counter and sighed, watching her favorite brew drip into the pot, filling the place with the soothing fragrance. Once she had a cup, she walked over to the patio doors off her living room. Stepping out, she closed her eyes for a moment, feeling the soft warmth of the sun caress her skin.

  Her mind went back to what Michael had said about the angels not being able to feel anything physically. She could understand why angels would agree to come here. She wondered what part of it had so enticed her spirit that she had signed on for this life. The sun’s caress? The taste and aroma of coffee in the morning? The soft, sensual feel of another person’s skin pressing against her own, and the sweet ache that followed?

  “All of the above,” she murmured with a smirk and downed the rest of her coffee. She returned the cup to the counter and began the scramble to get ready.

  Julia paused when she walked in the doors of Julia’s Bistro, carefully making note of all the employees diligently at work. There were still a few customers seated at the mismatched, antique tables that filled the dining room. Serving staff bussed and cleaned the empty tables, pushing the high-backed oak chairs in and wiping off the Italian-leather seats. One of the waitresses trolled the room with a carpet sweeper and another was at a computer terminal, keying in an order.

  It looked like they’d had a full restaurant for the lunch rush, and judging by the look on the restaurant manager’s face, everything had gone smoothly.

  Sandra was a treasure. She was originally from Britain, and the customers loved her endearing accent and warm manner. The employees loved her loyalty to them, and the fact that she would be the first one to jump in and do what needed to be done, rather than ordering them about. Julia often wondered how she got so lucky to have such a wonderful manager. She recalled her lessons about gifts from the previous night and shivered.

  “Hello, Julia,” Sandra greeted her with a smile and a hug. “Great lunch today. The new waiter is like an old pro and the chef’s choice today was a big hit. Oh, and Alex is waiting for you at your usual table. I’ll run the numbers for you shortly.”

  “Thank you, Sandra. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  Julia crossed the floor of the restaurant, dodging a scurrying waitress. She paused at one table to greet the Johansons. They had been dining at Julia’s regularly for four years. While she asked them how everything was, she caught Alex’s eye from across the room.

  He lit up, delight sparkling in his eyes, winked at her, and sat back. Julia could feel his eyes locked on her as she made her way toward him.

  When she arrived at the table, she reached forward and gave Alex’s hand a squeeze as she slipped into her seat.

  “What, no kiss?” he said, giving her hand a squeeze in return. “You look amazing! Your eyes…wow! I think they’re actually radiating.”

  Julia’s cheeks reddened. “Well, it’s just the same old me. Must have been the great sleep I had last night.”

  She studied Alex, remembering what Michael had said about him. She had known Alex for a long time. He chose to be here with her. Why? She saw the love in his eyes and smiled. Alex was the only person on Earth whom Julia had never doubted. She knew he loved her completely, as though his love came from a deeper place.

  Like his spirit, she thought. She shivered.

  “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on with you right now, but every time you look at me I feel like you’re trying to figure out what species I am. And not just me—everybody. Tell me what’s going on, Jules. Is it me?”

  “Are you aware that you almost never call me by my name, Alex?” Julia chuckled. “I am staring at you, you’re right. But it’s not a bad thing. I think I just realized how much you love me. How deeply you love me.”

  “Just now?” Alex said, cocking his head to one side. “I would have thought…”

  Julia grabbed Alex’s hands and pulled him toward her. Their noses almost touched. “I’ve alw
ays known, Alex. That’s why it’s been so easy with you all along. But I feel like something clicked. Like my soul finally gets it.”

  “Your soul.” Alex inhaled deeply, and Julia thought he was fighting the urge to kiss her.

  “My soul.” Julia looked deeply into Alex’s eyes. Her skin prickled with excitement, feeling his breath meet hers. Her voice lowered, husky with desire. “Perhaps after lunch I’ll show you what I mean.”

  The flush of Alex’s cheeks and the awkward shift of his body as he tried to cross his legs showed the effect her voice had on him. He opened his mouth to speak, but the sharp squeeze of her hand stopped him.

  Julia nodded her head toward the approaching waiter. Alex sighed and glanced down at the menu, his cheeks glowing as he unfolded the napkin and draped it across his lap.

  Something about the waiter seemed familiar, but Julia couldn’t place him. When he spoke, she noticed his front teeth looked remarkably like Chiclets. She thought she would remember a smile like that and shrugged it off.

  “Hello, Miss Samson,” he said, one arm formally bent in front of his stomach, the other behind his back. He tilted the upper half of his body forward in a bow. “My name is Clyde, and I’ll be taking care of you this afternoon.”

  Julia exchanged a look with Alex. Her skin prickled and a shudder ran through her. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but something about the waiter was unsettling.

  The new staff had to wait on the restaurant owner. It was some sort of rite-of-passage within the restaurant industry, and not one that Julia enjoyed. The nervousness inevitably caused mistakes, and often resulted in a missed drink or meal. She was surprised at the ease of this one’s manner. She kept it simple for him and ordered the same thing as Alex.

  Clyde took their orders without jotting them down, as though he had worked there for years, always holding Julia’s gaze just a little too long, and all but ignoring Alex. Julia was astounded that a new waiter would be so familiar; by the time he finished taking their order, she was furious, though she guarded her reaction.